Blog Feedback!

I loved the blogs, I thought they were great especially because they influenced me to get my own blog. I liked that I could always look back on the instructions for the blog and I got to read others posts.
I liked it better turning in the assignment online, plus it saves paper ;) haha
I loved reading the other blogs. Some people had some really good insight. It was helpful that we had to comment on our peer's blog otherwise, although I want to see what my peers said, because of time constraints, I would probably do it less often than I would like. I think that it was a great way to be interactive and I liked receiving feedback myself. It was also a good way to get to know the class.
If I had not read others blogs, I would not have known them in the in-depth way that I feel like I know them now. I would continue this, I thought it was great!

Analysis of DSW Webpage

The form DSW used was effective because...

*Their alignment was sharp. 

They didn't use center alignment with their logo but would use some of it when it was appropriate.

They had a clean and simple set up. It was clear and not convoluted; everything was aligned with something.

*They had contrast.

They placed emphasis on the images of the shoes and the brands that went along with them, this emphasis made the shoes more important. They also had simple phrases to go along with them each of the pictures. These phrases weren't big but they were catchy and succinct. The different things you could buy were smaller but the pictures drew you in. 

*They made use of proximity.

The pictures are grouped together and the words are grouped together, and they chose an effective way to organize the information that made the website pleasing to the eye.

*They used repetition.

It is simple and fresh, all of the different tabs are organized the same way. The spring colors for this season are unified throughout the site. They also did the same pictures of shoes and just contrasted with colors (but the same scheme of colors). 

*Their composition was powerful.

How they placed and arranged the visual elements were effective because it was easy to navigate your way around the page. They used their white space and had unified colors.

Website Effectiveness

To solve the problems I listed in my last blog post, I decided to put the counterargument scattered throughout my paper. There was one paragraph dedicated to the counterargument, but I put the rest in one-liners in almost each paragraph. I feel like it did the job best.

Ineffective vs. Effective

Ineffective:



"ALIEN SPACESHIPS TO ATTACK EARTH IN NOVEMBER 2012!"

http://weeklyworldnews.com/headlines/26535/alien-spaceships-to-attack-earth-in-2011/

It says "the world's only reliable news" and this doesn't give them any credibility because there are other sources of reliable news. The topic also isn't believable. 

"Spaceships--My Passion"

http://artships.com/

The design is very poor and even though we haven't learned about it, it looks like a ten year old made this. It just sported spaceships and didn't give any real information.

"Latest-UFO-Sightings"

http://www.latest-ufo-sightings.net/

The content and the reasoning for the content were ineffective to me. 

"Universal Uclick"

http://www.universaluclick.com/comics/peanuts/

I just didn't think that it effectively spoke to me personally because it wasn't a topic I was interested in. I enjoy old time comics but the website wasn't appealing enough.

Effective:

"DSW"

http://www.dsw.com/?cm_mmc=google-_-Brand%20DSW%20Only_E-_-DSW%20Only-_-13446485

I love shoes and I think how they set up the website is appealing and I know they guarantee good business.

EPA Water News

http://water.epa.gov/

When researching water, I trust this site to give me accurate information because it has a .gov and the information is given by the EPA, whom I also trust. 

"CNN"

http://www.cnn.com/

I feel like this is a creditable source. Obviously there will be some discrepancy among stories but for the  most part, it is effective. 

"Happy-Dictionary.com"

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/happy

I think dictionary.com is effective because it is able to give you the information you need and is simple and easy to work.

Paragraph w/o Patchwriting

Most of the time, we see “myth” as a false tale or some type of ritual other cultures perform, which we think doesn’t actually work. This definition can undermine the beliefs of others, but in consequence, it supposedly reaffirms our own. It is also what makes myths so intriguing because there is an element of mystery and possible truth. 

-The hardest thing was picking a topic, but now that I have chosen, it is difficult to figure out how to order the paper. Meaning, what is the most important topic after the opening paragraph and where should the counterargument go; should it be apart of each paragraph or it's own separate one?

Life-Lessons Learned in the Library

        I actually learned a lot from the class that we had Monday teaching us how to research. It's always been a struggle to figure out the most accurate sources to use when writing a paper. This is because all of our lives, we have grown up using google and clicking the first address that pops up. We rarely went through our schools online library search engine. It was only when we were forced to cite those types of sources, that we did so. We are so used to doing things that are easy and convenient. That is why we have microwave dinners and walking escalators. We are always in a hurry and we want the quickest way to get information. One thing I did learn in this class is that even though citing a book seems strenuous, it is not necessary that the whole book is read, just skim and find what you need. This method we used can still be applied to in-depth research, and should be applied. It is more effective if you are searching through titles and topics to find the article or information that most accurately represents your work to portray it most effectively. A way to find specific articles that are relevant for your topic is, in fact, using the search engine provided for the library. On our BYU page, you simply click on the Subject Guide tab and the the Course Guide tab. Then for this particular research assignment, we use the Writing 150 website and the search tools provided there. There are many ways to go about finding what you need. It offers a way to find books, find topics and narrow your search. The site is very simple and easy to understand and really helps provide information. I feel like it has opened my eyes to an easy way to obtain healthy and creditable articles. We are lucky to have a school that doesn't only have these sites and opportunities but teaches us how to use them.

Proposal

       I chose to do my topic on "Relationships affected by Internet". So in essence, I want to write about how social media can effect relationships. This isn't limited to the relationship of a boy and a girl, but all relationships: the relationship with children and their parents, the relationship of friends, and the relationship between a new married couple. The internet will always bring implications to a relationship if it is present or driving force in their lives. My initial stance is that social media negatively effects the relationship between newly weds. It also negatively affects parents and their children unless they are living far away. I still haven't produced my stance on friends, I think it may have duel implications. My research question will be more narrowly focused in order to find out more information. I am asking: How does Facebook effect these three types of relationships, and is its effect positive or negative? Should people refrain from using it to strengthen relationships? What barriers or break-throughs come from it?
      I have found some while researching that Facebook has been proven to do. It has been proven to make people jealous. This is an important thing when addressing newly weds and friends. It has actually been proven to predict break-ups as well. Some people are more bold on Facebook, this makes it easier to say how they are feeling. When you can be this open, it offers a way for people to be more kind. They are able to compliment more freely but it also offers a way to destroy someone's self-worth. This brings a different element of a relationship with the openness. I care about this topic because I feel like it is a current issue in our generation. Facebook has a real effect on how we interact and I want to know more about it and figure out if there is a way to solve the problems and highlight the strengths. I hope I can find 9 pages to write about because I really like studying relationships!

20 Issues of mine...

1.Online Textbooks
2. Newspapers (thrive or die?)
3. Political correctness
4. Facebook's effect on relationships
5. Texting's effect on relationships
6. Communication with dolphins via technology
7. Stem Cell Research
8. Cyberbulling
9. Video games
10. Government control on Internet
11. Causes of Violence (Media Related)
12. Harmful effects of plastic bags
13. Media leading to World's end
14. Intimacy affected by Internet
15. Foods effect on the body
16. Effects of Divorce
17. Politics
18. Judging vs. Discerning
19. Truth vs. Tolerance
20. Kids that play outside vs. Kids that watch TV

The List of 20 is complete and yet I still have no idea what to choose!

Lois Lane and Clark Kent: Jane Austen Style

My Dearest Clark Kent,
How do you feel this splendid afternoon? I am pleased to inform you that my days have been golden. Forsake this day, for I do miss your presence more than my heart can bear.  As I sat and pondered on our wonder days, I ached for the adventures we once took part in together. There was but a glimpse of hope when the red blanket flowing on the line caught my attention. My mind tricked me for but a moment and I thought it was the cape of my love. The disappointment that followed was quite overwhelming. I do remember our last Valentine's Day was quite agreeable. We were out to capture and take down Bizarro, the villain, and after this successful endeavor we ate our supper at a quaint, elegant restaurant. I remember the feeling about the room was one illuminated with romance and excitement. O how I wish to be reliving this once again but I know that the present situation has called for your assistance with business matters. I dare say it is quite a loss to not have you by my side but just knowing you are safe is very satisfying compared to the former. I do wish you a Happy Valentine's Day in your far off land. I pray for an honorable return from your journey and do expect to see you at the ball next month. Until then, I bid you a farewell and send my love through this letter.
Your Lady,
Lois Lane

My Movie Mistake Madness

Mistakes:
1. Some of my sentences needed to be more concise and clear and so I will change that.
2. "...connecting us to a network that may soon determine one's job..." Us and One's  (Need to make them agree)
3. Accidentally said reader instead of author; simple change but very prominent mistake.

Movies
I also believe that asking for your favorite movie is a mean question well when it is directed toward people who have a hard time making decisions. There are just so many good ones! But here are some of my favorites:
1. Notebook
2. Pride and Prejudice
3. She's the Man
4. Tangled
I know they are really girly and lovey but I like them :) I also appreciate action movies but I don't like scary movies. This is tough :/

The Ultimate Cheese

-Decorating with hearts for Valentine's Day is like decorating with bones for Halloween; we like our bodies.
-Roses are red, violets are blue and these kinds of poems are like something you should never do.
-Eating cake by yourself on Valentines is like two people eating cake but take away one person.
-It took her thirty minutes to write this beautiful letter to her boyfriend. She then sprayed it with perfume like her dad does when he is trying to make the bathroom smell good after he spends thirty minutes in it.
-She played hard to get as a baby would play peek-a-boo.

I am Innocent! (Three letters of proof)

Dear  Judge ____, 

   Thank you for your efforts to keep our world fair and just. I know that you do all you can to fulfill your duties; that is why you made the judgment call you did in my case. I would appreciate it though, if you would listen to a few reasons why I believe that the punishment affixed may be more severe than what was deserved. I feel as if the whole story wasn't fully explained. I was not deliberately trying to break the law. In fact, I had no idea that I was over the speed limit. I also have been doing so well ever since my first incident to stay even a little below the speed limit. That is why I was going forty-five and not fifty. You see, I am not familiar with this area that I was driving in. I had been asked to help a friend move in a neighboring city which I had never been to before. The speed limit was fifty (that's why I was going forty-five) and then the speed limit changed to thirty with little warning. It was one sign (I went back to check with my mom) and I just mist have missed it. Since it was late at night, there were no cars on the road, therefore I had nothing to compare my speed limit to. I respect your decision, but I hope you take into consideration the details listed above. I am willing to pay the ticket price but I feel that taking away my license isn't a good representation of the actions that took place.

Thank you for your consideration,

Kennedy

Dearest Mother,

   So guess what? This isn't a very good thing, but I received a ticket today for speeding AND they are saying that they are going to revoke my license. I know, it's way bad but I don't want you to worry about it too much. The measures they are taking are pretty extreme but they don't understand the full story. I have already written a letter to the judge asking for a reconsideration on the outcome. It is actually quite ridiculous! I was not intentionally speeding at all. The speed limit was fifty and within one sign it was thirty! I accidentally missed the sign, not only because it was dark but because it wasn't in my line of vision. I hadn't been to this place before so I was concentrating on the signs so I could make the right turn.  I actually was going five under and not fifteen over, in my book anyway. Maybe you could even write a letter to the judge telling him that I am a good kid ha, but for real. They probably won't take away the ticket but I NEED to drive, like how am I supposed to get to school? The money is going to be a bummer but next to taking away my license, it's not a big deal. I can cover it too. I have money in my budget for a trip so I just won't go on that and I'll cut down on food. Sorry for the inconvience. But I am not too worried, hopefully the judge will side with me and cut me a little slack. Thanks for your help mom, this is such a bummer. :/ 

Love and miss you,

Kennedy

Hey Classmates,

   I am so sorry about not being able to take you guys home the other night. I had an intense experience so hopefully you will understand. I was driving home from a neighboring city and I got a ticket but! I wasn't intentionally breaking the law at all. The speed limit was fifty and within one sign it was thirty! I accidentally missed the sign, not only because it was dark but because it wasn't in my line of vision. I hadn't been to this place before, so I was concentrating on the signs in order to make the correct turn.  I actually was going five under and not fifteen over, in my book anyway. The officer was extremely rude too. All this being said, then the officer decided my license is going to be revoked. He wasn't even willing to listen to my side of the story. I am really hoping for a reconsideration by the judge. It was all just a horrible misunderstanding, but now I don't have a license at all so I won't be able to take y'all home anymore. If you guys could support me, I would greatly appreciate it. I have already written a letter to the judge so hopefully I will actually be justly dealt with this time! 

Sorry again but thanks for understanding,

Kennedy

Found Poem

Found Poem: Writers

WRITERS
       may seek advice and
WRITERS
       may give advice but
WRITERS
       rarely take advice.
WHY?
       because
WRITERS
      are stubbornly independent.
WRITERS
      are self-reliant,
           knowing that there is no one to really help them
      but themselves;
WRITERS
      hope to be "original"
WHICH
      means not following in the path of others.

From the book The Best Advice I Ever Got by Katie Couric.
Sub passage from "Here is life..." by Joyce Carl Oates.

Rhetorical Analysis of New Media (With a Spiritual Twist)

As I read all the articles, each brought forth a different emotion. The last one I read, "Can You Hear Me Now?", left me pretty frustrated with how disconnected we are with the human beings right around us. But on the other hand the article, "Dear Students: Don't Let College Unplug Your Future", left me so pumped about being a part of this intangible world. I hate to think that I liked this piece by Gideon Burton because it fed my sub-conscious cravings for the virtual world. It made being on the internet and utilizing social media not only "not bad" but actually something positive and good.
This leads me into my first question: What is the author's intent and what are they trying to persuade the audience? I believe he wants us to view social media as a good thing and use it to benefit our education. His goal was to persuade us that a college education from a University is likely to be behind the times and the most current way to receive an education or be a part of the "real world" is to embrace the social media.
Sometimes during his argument, I felt as if he were mocking the idea of social media. He said things like:
"You don't evin haf to spel rite, though that doesn't hurt."
"Find those crazed teachers who have not been lobotomized by the moribund methodology of conventional learning and teaching."
-I think his blunt disapproval or maybe even attack on conventional learning makes him seem a little careless and almost enough to not know whether to take him seriously or not. Therefore his delivery was rather weak in this aspect but despite those moments, I would give him an A+ in delivery. He really appeals to his audience and gives interesting examples.

One last thing that may have weakened his argument or made him lose ethos was when he said:
"Trust the ones who give you their cell phone numbers..." He gives his students his cell phone number as he said previously in the passage, therefore he is essentially saying, "Trust me, and people like me."

He uses a lot of imagery, for example: (also an analogy)
"Treat your classes like you do your CDs- rip, trade, and burn the best tracks, deleting what doesn't fit in your playlist."

Gideon uses epicrisis when he recounts the story of trying to get social media into college curriculum and then just ends with, "So very chilling, but that is academia for you." The story pretty much spoke for itself. This is also evidence to his argument.

He also uses many hyperboles which solidify his stance:
"They can't help but kill the things that would bring your education to life. Oh, the humanities!"

He definitely used some pathos for me because I just got a blog so I could really relate to his story of picking an intern based on the contents of her blog. He emphasized the fact that there may no longer be resume but just your record of social media.

He made a good counter argument that I considered as well: the internet can be scary. Somehow, although there are unfortunate instances, he seemed to convince me that it is more important to have one then not to.

I also liked how he used interjections to give voice and make it entertaining which made the paper more appealing.

So is this article effective? I believe it was. It made me realize how important social media can be and it is something we should embrace. I feel like it adequately did that for me but I still have my own qualms, especially after reading the other articles.

This has become my stance:
I think we should embrace social media and use it for good in the world. We must be careful not to be consumed by it. Ultimately, the one thing I am worried about it our connection with other people. In my Sunday School lesson, I became enlightened with this idea when teaching about revelation. When we want to receive revelation sometimes we need to take a step back and become disconnected with all media so we can focus on what the Spirit is trying to communicate. So why would it be bad though if we communicated just through technology? Why does that feel wrong? How our Heavenly Father communicates is not through technology but rather through our hearts and we want to become like Him. So personal interaction is very important and I would agree that sometimes you can touch others hearts through the media but when we are there and personal, is when we can make a real impact so we can't forget this. Also the media can give us alternate identities in a way. In Pres. Monson's devotional to the BYU students he counseled us to "Remember who you are". The prophets are divinely inspired and usually see things coming before we know they will happen. This may be good advice for right now but I think it may be even more valuable in the future. We are Children of God and we mustn't forget.

Peer Review and Corrections

Five Corrections:
(Just as a side note...it may be a sweeping generalization to assume we even made five mistakes on our paper to start with but unfortunately, I am one of those who made five mistakes. ha)
1.
Wrong: Depending on the book’s price, it has a high potential to pay itself off in the self same year it is purchased.
-I reread this and though "self same" may have a hyphen between the words but selfsame is actually one word. 
Correct: Depending on the book’s price, it has a high potential to pay itself off in the selfsame year it is purchased.
2.
Wrong: I contemplated these high costs and other factors as well; such as many textbooks are thrown away when declined the opportunity to be sold back.
-The semicolon is improperly placed in the sentence.
Correct: I contemplated these high costs and other factors such as many textbooks are thrown away when declined the opportunity to be sold back.
3.
Wrong: It may be a slow to start process because of the money invested but soon it will actually be creating more profit than previously.
-There is no comma before the conjunction "but".
Correct: It may be a slow to start process because of the money invested, but soon it will actually be creating more profit than previously.
4.
Wrong: This is not something that we want to force on the students of BYU but rather it is an option.
 -Once again there is no comma before the conjunction "but".

Correct: This is not something that we want to force on the students of BYU, but rather it is an option.
 5.

Wrong: Also if we recycle, it almost makes it okay to keep buying the books, when it reality those resources are still being consumed at a high rate.

-I made a spelling error, I wrote "it reality" instead of "in reality" 

Correct: Also if we recycle, it almost makes it okay to keep buying the books, when in reality those resources are still being consumed at a high rate.

Opinion of Peer Review:

I actually really enjoyed the peer review. I think it is fun to tell people what you really think of their work with little consequences and a bit of tact of course. I was a little blunt on some but I felt like the comments were intended to improve their writing skills so ultimately it was beneficial. I have to say five comments may have been a bit excessive for each page. With that being said, it was helpful for those papers that may have needed five comments per page so it wasn't too marked up in comparison to others. I think if instead of doing 5 per page, maybe doing 12-18 total. It was a little frustrating that we couldn't correct some of the grammar just to help because I feel that is important in improving a paper. I have yet to write a half page comment per paper but I feel that too could be summed up in the 5 comments per page. I am grateful to hear what others have to say about my paper though so although time consuming, I feel that it is probably quite helpful. I have to be honest, I felt kind of like a teacher grading papers and I liked it haha. But I imagine it is much less enjoyable when there are like 200 papers to grade. Overall, I enjoyed the peer review and I hope the ideas I suggested are taken into consideration.